I grew up in Caro, Michigan and that is where I raised my family.   I hadn't thought a lot about the military or veterans even though I was married to a Viet Nam veteran. It was not common practice at that time for veterans to voice their feelings about military experience.  In 2002 my husband was diagnosed with an Agent Orange related cancer and just over a year later I became a 45-year old widow.   Our son, Brian, had followed in his Father's footsteps and was serving a tour in Afghanistan with the 82nd Airborne Division supporting Operation Enduring Freedom.

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       Journaling became one of my most valued coping tools.   Each day's entry included concerns about my son who was showing signs of anxiety and what I now know as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  One more tour, this time in Iraq, deepened Brian's affliction and the emotional chaos he was suffering.  I watched his 3-year-commitment come to an end and prayed that he would recover and have a successful life.

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     Sadly, this didn't happen as he was diagnosed with severe P T S D and his life spiraled downward.  I had no idea where to begin but worked diligently and learned some tough lessons. I focused solely on helping my son to get proper treatment, his disability claim processed and learning to maneuver through the Veterans Administration system.  It was frustrating as the required paperwork proved too complicated for my afflicted son to handle on his own.  Contacting politicians for assistance in securing the proper care for Brian often became necessary as we hit brick walls in the system. 

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There were times when I had to beg that Brian remain in jail as I searched for a space in a Veterans hospital for him to be treated.  Law enforcement didn't feel that he should be in jail but sometimes, there were no other options.  Detox beds were often unavailable, mental health appointments could take a very long time and my son was very fragile.

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      Substance Abuse, often a symptom of P.T.S.D., can be a lethal condition to deal with.  There is not always time to work through the red tape and find substance abuse treatment.  An extra day can prove deadly in such afflicted veterans.  I learned to be assertive and advocated for Brian's care.  His care became my full-time job.  Several family members and friends helped with Brian while giving me a much-needed rest.  The care and advocacy of caring for a sick veteran can be exhausting.  It can make the caregiver suffer greatly.

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     Spreading awareness and resources for veteran’s struggles proved difficult while advocating for Brian’s care.  There was seldom enough time or energy.  Since Brian's death I continue to write short stories filled with true life experiences and work to find venues to share his story. Voicing what I think could be improved in the Veteran’s Administration system will hopefully help other families.  There have been strides made in understanding and treating the needs of afflicted veterans.  Still more resources need to be made available.  Our nation's heroes deserve respect and need help to find the programs and support to heal.